How It Felt To Be “Friendzoned”

“Tanggapin mo nalang na hanggang dito lang tayo”

[TRANSLATION: “Just accept that this is all that we’ll ever be.”]

I will never forget those words. It seemed like a line from a movie… but my “best friend” did say that to my face.

It was one of the most devastating night of my life. I had fallen for my guy friend and got rejected the night I confessed to him.

The scene was just like in a ocheesy flick. We were drinking out in our usual hang-out spot. I wore something nice and made extra effort to make myself look pretty. It was going to be THE night I was going to come out and tell him how I feel. I’ve been harboring a secret crush on him for 9 months and I thought it was “time”.

While the whole gang was having fun, he kept looking at his new phone that I “helped” him buy (lent him the money and picked up the phone for him) and spent most of the hour texting. Then someone called him and so he excused himself to talk to whoever this caller was. I suddenly felt jealous, I had a gut feeling he was talking to a girl. He kept denying it but I really felt something was not right.

When I confronted him and asked him who he was talking to, he immediately denied that he was talking to a “chick”, said he’s just talking to an old friend. Then he suddenly seemed guilty and he asked me why I was being nosy, etc. That’s when I told him why… I like him.

And he said that line… which broke my heart into pieces. Tears trickled down my cheeks. I asked him to leave. I felt like I was being swallowed into a worm hole. I left crying… my heart was crushed. I started walking, but I did not know where to go. I was wandering aimlessly, his words kept ringing in my ears… I was dumped. There was someone else, even if he kept denying it I knew and I felt it, he was flirting with someone and months later I was able to confirm my suspicions were correct.

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The thing is… he made me feel like there was going to be an “us”. He made me believe that he felt the same way but was just waiting for me to do the first move. I guess I was wrong. I assumed.

It was May 2014. I hated that night. I hated that feeling. And I still hate that girl who who stole my bestfriend (since that incident she already had countless of boyfriends after him lol).

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I became bitter after.  That night, I felt like I wanted to end my life and I believed that no one will ever replace him. I even told myself that I am not going to find another guy, that I wasn’t going to marry, that I will just adopt and die single, because if I can’t have him then I don’t want anybody else. Stupid isn’t it? I gave up on love, isn’t that funny? HAHAHA! I spent nights drinking and going out with friends, pretending I was happy and that I am okay. But deep inside I was dying.

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I was so worried that I will not get over him. But look where I am in now… I AM SO OVER HIM! And I am very happy! Looking back now I can just laugh and I am glad I am so over that.

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So, to those who were dumped and friendzoned like me, don’t give up! You will move on! The thing is someone will come in your life and fuck things up for you: the “pa-fall”, the “paasa” and those guys who will “friendzone”. There will come a time when we’ll be rejected and it is going to be very painful but it’s alright. Eventually, you’ll get over that. You’ll meet somebody else, not immediately, not tomorrow or next month… just wait! It’s just like what Lola Nidora said “Sa tamang panahon.” (In the right time)

About Reia Ayunan 220 Articles

Reia Ayunan is a Filipino blogger, cosplayer, gamer and foodie. She loves to travel, read books, listen to music, play videogames, watch movies, try out new cuisines and sing. She is currently trying her hands on culinary art.
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  • Sometimes you would think that that’s the worst thing that could happen, but sometimes these things are a blessing in disguise. Do not settle for someone who is not ready to have a relationship with you. It’s great you could move on and thank you for sharing a very personal experience.

    • Reia San Juan Ayunan

      Hey Nicholas! Thanks for dropping by. It took a while for me to decide whether or not I shall share this very “personal” experience, but I would like other people to learn from what I’ve gone through and perhaps be inspired that someday they will get over the pain. 🙂

  • Skyral Lorze

    ginawang tanga lng…………..in short yung ikaw na lng umaasa

    • Reia San Juan Ayunan

      Yup! Ganun na nga hahaha

  • Alvin Balce

    And guys think only they can be friendzoned. :v

    This is a very familiar experience to me, as it happened to me more than once. Even worse, I’d been put in the kuya-zone, and worst, rejected blatantly.

    I had been bitter too, but I realized that all I can do is keep myself busy so I could forget about it, and I did. Bitterness didn’t go away completely, but I felt better as time passed by, and the girls I fell for all faded to irrelevance. LOL

    There are times I think friendzone is a bad thing, because it gets in the way of me having a relationship with the girl I like. But in a way, it’s also good because the longer I stay in it, the more it makes me think I shouldn’t have fallen for her at all. It makes me have a reason to send her to the friendzone for when the time comes she falls for me and I already got tired. Haha

    As much as I want to be in a romantic relationship, I’m now just waiting for the girl who will fall for me as I am as much as I fall for her.

    And I think us in the friendzone should stick together. Hahahaha

    • Reia San Juan Ayunan

      It is true. Time heal all wounds. Thanks for sharing this here Alvin. 🙂

  • Abdella Baldomero

    Once in a lifetime story 🙂
    thank you for sharing your experience to everyone ^_^

    • Reia San Juan Ayunan

      Yeah I don’t usually share my personal stories hehe.

      • Abdella Baldomero

        I’m thankful that i read it, just made me realize that the lesson you shared with the story is worthy and an eye awakening for those who still trap on their feelings and still suffering the pain of their expectation.

        I have already experienced this kind of pain but in another kind of story.
        Just made me think that this kind of experience is molding us to a person I who we are today.

        Happy and Stronger. Lesson learned in life 🙂
        again thank you ^_^

  • Billy Loyola Maligat

    Them feels….

  • Billy Loyola Maligat

    The feels is the same…

  • fati

    Many come and go and I’m sure u must have broken some man’s heart too over the years.

    Personally I have had my besties fall for me and mess our friendship which always leads to awkwardness later on. It’s hard to stop feelings but it’s harder to lose a friend so I stay away from people that get too close. It’s true we move on but the thing is the pain and the memories are always so real.. They stay on..

    (Fml from mig me)

  • Mofakkharul Hasan Riad

    Everyone has a moment like you sis but you were in right direction. That is the sentence i have to say “Don’t give up” have a good time 🙂 (Great_heart31)

  • Miriam Goh

    Hey babe.. came across this post of yours. I think I can relate to your experience but well although I haven’t been officially dumped but being friendzone sure isn’t a nice experience. The problem with us girls is we get touched and like the person quite easily… and when we like, we really like a lot and well with guys sometimes they tend to lead us on whether intentionally or unintentionally. Sometimes, we might be too blinded by the fact we may just be a safety boat for them but one day, we will see the truth. Thanks for sharing your story <3 *hugs*